rest our tired and shameful hearts in thee

sweet freedom bringer, king of liberty

we are yours called, yours alone

our idols be laid before your throne

o praise the one who nails my sin

o praise the one, wanderer, come in

a prayer; For You, for the world, for her, for me

You. Forgive me of my sins. Thank You for Your grace.

World. A broken pot is best mended by its maker. The same for broken hearts and the broken world. Lord, you hold all our tears in a bottle. No turmoil has not been sifted from Your hand accidentally. Come quickly. But also, save quickly, grow us deeply. God, my God. Your creation proclaims and glorifies Your greatness. Yet, it mourns because it is broken. You are restorer and healer.

Her. Give her peace from anxiety and fears. Help her to rely and lean and seek You always and first and forever. In her motherhood give her wisdom and patience. Thank You for her friendship and her love for You. Lord, grow both greatly, if it be your will. She knows You, help her know You more. Guard her heart and her life.

Me. Control my appetites. Be my contentment and joy, Lord. Be my peace. Be telos of my being I know You are. Let my studies, my mind, my will, my body be used for your namesake, little that I might give. Help me to glorify and love you better, O savior of my soul.

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God is sovereign. The Ghost is holy. Christ is immanent.

A short prayer for all

I love you, Lord. Help me to love you all the more. Through distractions and through weakness, help me to seek you yet. Amen.

On Generosity and lesson learned

Mt. 5:42; 1 Tim. 6:18; Heb. 13:16

Driving home from class one late-ish night, my stomach rumbles, and I realize that I have no wife waiting at home with a meal (OK, real talk, I realize this quite often), or even a real meal to come home to at all. There's a small chicken joint that I've always wanted to try, so I figure, why not? The more hole in the wall it looks, the older the grease, and the more flavor you munch. Background: the area around the school was once rather prosperous, but now, quite the opposite. It would be odd to NOT see any homeless on the drive to and from school, and on more than one occasion, I've bought or given my own lunch up to someone that has asked (also down really cheap Tupperware!). It's not a big deal, not usually.

So rewind to the historical present of the story: as I'm waiting, I see a homeless guy come into the store. Now, there are two exits, and right off the bat, I was weighing the odds of him asking me for a meal, or if I should just take the easy way out and go out the other exit. Except, lately, my money has been exceptionally tight. Moving to a new state, to a new school, chasing after a degree in Theology, and trying to live on my own and figure things out has not been cheap. Previous times, I have had some, or maybe even a little, but I've always been able to give semi-comfortably. Now, I can probably count how much money I have starting from 0 and hit it in less than a minute. In quarters. Needless to say, taking the dive towards the other exit seemed like a very, very live option.

And yet, I chose the other way, hoping he would not in fact ask me for anything. Of course, that wasn't the case, and I barely start a step in his direction when he asks me to help him and his daughters. He mentioned not making it to the church on time, and so needed help. I was upset, a little desperate, and (testament to what you should not do), pulled out my wallet, saw I had a couple tens, and gave him one; I left before I even saw him order, but not without parting with a whiny, "I don't have much either man, but here, whatever."

God, I give all the time. My life and future and ministry and thoughts and vocation are towards the advancement of your kingdom. You couldn't spare me this once? I can't get hired to save my life, and I can't find it in me to write for support (a pride issue I'll touch on one of these days), and yet here I am, giving what very little I have. More thoughts were swirling. Was it OK to say no? Was it even responsible to say no? Should I have gone the other way? Looking back, ideally, I should have just paid for a meal (what he was asking for was much less than what I gave him), but I was so lost in complaint that I did not realize until I was sitting in the car.

And yet, the very next day, I fill up my gas tank, I fill up my fridge and freezer and pantry, and have leftovers and the knowledge that I have friends that will help generously and without hesitation should I ask. I was so wrecked by realizing that, that I almost started weeping while putting my mandarins (or tangerines? who knows) onto the belt. How many of us have little, or less and use that as an excuse to not give at all? God gives us life, sustains the universe's very existence, gives us an appreciation for beauty and comedy and laughter, grows us through our weakness (and very many times, in spite of it), and so much more.

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Lord, work on my heart. Help me to be a cheerful giver always and always and forever. You are too good and kind and generous and wonderful to me for me to act otherwise. Thank you for all that you do. Amen.

On the call to ministry, a title longer than the actual rumination, or at least, almost longer

Short Skype conversation with a good buddy of mine. Young man, old soul, big enthusiasm. He mentions (and has mentioned before) his desire towards ministry. It leads me to thinking aloud, about how though we know our sins, God knows the depths of them. Though we are broken, crass, impatient, bent towards leading away, God, in all his mercy and grace, leads us ever toward himself. AND he still deigns to use us for his glory!

Are we not much more than broken instruments made to make a symphony? What a weight for those of us with that call towards ministry. What a joy for all believers, that Jesus saves.

A prayer for the lost

Heavenly Father,

All truth belongs to you. All goodness is couched within your being. All things work together for your Glory. Though we do not always see the right path, and though sometimes we struggle and trudge along, help us to remember that you are ever-present and filled with love towards us; whether we know (or remember) it or not.

For those that do not know you, I pray that you draw them ever closer, and that they seek you with an earnestness that can have no other cause but the Spirit. I pray that the reliance on earthly things begins to fade, and I pray that the assurance found in flesh is broken and made bare before a regenerated will and intellect.

Give those of us that do know you a heart towards those that do not. Help us to feel an inkling of the weight of eternity in this present, in order that we may be hurried toward the proclamation of the sacrifice of your Son and in our own walk. Help us to pray more fervently for those lost. Help us to pray more fervently for those not lost who do not shine as brightly as they could, or are afraid to shine lest the darkness seem more dark.

I pray for all those that seem to flounder about. I pray for those that grope and beg for direction and seemingly do not find it. Help us all to find our direction and fullness within you. I pray that our choices be made sound and founded on holiness. I pray that our wills are pliant, and your hand be felt. I pray that we seek you, even as we may be confused about our own direction. I pray that we have the wisdom to tell the difference between temporary setbacks and a signal for a change of course.

Thank you for all that you do, and the patience you shower us with. Thank you for the work you have done, are doing, and will do within us. You are great, and you are good, and you are holy. Help us all to proclaim and shout your praise with every fiber of our being. May our temporal directionless never alter our course towards deep and fuller community with you.

In Christ, and through Christ, amen.

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And though the walls and brambles close our ways
Your love remains, within us it forever stays

A life of Christ, in the church, in yourself

INTRODUCTION

            The overarching life of the Christian, whether in community or individuality; whether in weakness or in strength; whether in glory or humility, is found in Christ alone. As the ancient detractors so graciously provided us this title, we are to be little Christs; that emulation cannot be completed or even started without placing ourselves in surrender to the God-man. As Paul states throughout his writings, and as he places his "in Christ" phrases as foundation markers and road guides in the Epistles, there is a great need fulfilled and a great necessity sated as Christ permeates our life and our social strata. This will be a brief (and personal) rumination on what being in Christ means and represents within the Church at large and within myself.

THE LIFE OF THE CHURCH IN CHRIST

            The Church, as spoken here, is the body of believers that have truly placed their faith in Jesus. That being said, the foundational aspect of being in Christ for the church is entrenched within Christ's sacrificial and atoning death. The blood that washes away sins in the very same blood used as mortar for the body of believers. We see this plainly in Hebrews 9, at just the right moment and in just the right way, just the right sacrificial lamb came for the sake of our sin, and also by doing that, established this mystery made known viz. the Church. To put it simply, the life of the Church has been made possible due to the death of its saviour.

            Now, this sacrifice and redemption from the shackles of sin bears with it many consequences. One of which that will be briefly mentioned is that the life of the church in Christ is one of a bridal life. Ephesians 5 says that the church is subject to Christ as a bride is to her husband. It is very interesting that this expression is used here, as it seems to be a kind of "already, not yet" passage. The church is spoken of as a bride and Christ as a husband; neither of them are mentioned as betrothed. And yet, the church is spoken of as being holy and blameless. something we are yet called and exhorted towards, and not fulfilled. Being that state judicially before God is one thing, but this practical extension within our own lives is an uncompleted work. The beauty then, is that there is a sureness about being the bride of Christ that is intrinsic within the life of the Church. So again, the great necessity of being in Christ for the church is made more explicit; for what is a bride if she does not have a husband? A spinster? A widow? And yet, we are subject to and love a living God who not only desires us, but nourishes, sustains, and cherishes us.

            Lastly, the very much overlooked aspect of church life is one of a synergistic corporate entity. While I understand the distinction between the local group and the universal body, there's always a certain sadness in myself when speaking of Christian principles and just general biblical lessons whenever I need to make the distinction between it applying to the congregation or the body of Christ. And further than that, we consistently see this in Christ's work: it was to benefit the body, not the individual. Ephesians 2:8 is often remembered, where "For by grace you have been saved through faith..." There is a personal tinge to this verse that seems paramount when taken by itself, and yet nearly the entirety of the rest of the passage speaks in terms of us and we. We formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh. He loves us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ. He raised us up with Him. And so on and so forth. Life in Christ is not done on an isle separate from each believer. To sum, the life of the Church in Christ is founded by Him, it is a picture of bridal life, and it is an exhortation to a corporate spirituality that is often overlooked.

MY LIFE IN CHRIST

            The move from New Jersey to North Carolina the summer before my senior year of high school was a rather tumultuous and draining time for my family. We came from a close knit church made up of first generation Filipino families similar in age, occupation, beliefs, and a piety I have not seen mimicked since to a Bible belt state where a church on every corner did not necessarily mean a cohesive family unit on every block. And yet, personally, I believe that this more solitary life instilled in me a dependence on Christ that I could not have gotten with such an excellent support system in my childhood haunts. Yes, I just finished speaking about the dire need to highlight the corporate relation of a life in Christ found in the church, but for the Christian, the walk towards acting and being more like Jesus can only be done on a personal basis. 1 Peter 1:15 talks about this, at it echoes Leviticus, "You shall be holy, for I am holy." My life in Christ is one that means I have the perfect example to follow. He's exemplar in the sense that Jesus is one we should model ourselves on, but also in the sense that he is a very good instance of who and what we should aspire to be. I yearn to be more like Christ and by extension, like my Father.

            In one of the larger churches we visited while we looked for a home, the missionaries that were on furlough (over 100 people) presented the flags on the countries they were serving in. A Brazilian man stationed in South Africa spoke. I do not remember the text. I do not remember what he looked like. I don't even remember if he actually was Brazilian, or if he was based in South Africa. But I do remember one thing he said, "You might be the only picture of Christ someone may ever see." What a humbling responsibility. What grave consequences for the unprepared. While serving as an interim youth pastor at a small Baptist church back in Carolina, we played a short game of Pictionary. Some words were easy, some were not; some artists were actual artists, some probably sinned by drawing as poorly as they did. But they were able to grasp that point I made later, namely that trueness the facsimile has to the original was the only way people were able to grasp what the facsimile was about. As Christ should be an example in my life, the natural outflow of chasing hard after Him leads me to be an example to others.

            In Romans 6:5, we see that "we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death" and because of that the likeness in his resurrection is virtually assured. Paul continues this line of thought, speaking on freedom from slavery, believers united in Christ, the struggle, but flourishes with the ultimate and utter victory of Christ and the sureness we have in Him found in Romans 8:39. This is the final rumination I have in this. Just as the Church was founded in Christ, is the bride of Christ, and lives its life together in itself and in Christ and as I personally need to be an example and to follow the Example, my hope, thank God, is not found in me. It is found in Christ. In 2 Corinthians 3, the veil covering the hardened mind is removed in Christ; 1 Corinthians 13, through a mirror dimly we see, but soon face to face; we have such a great hope found in Christ. And finally, 1 Corinthians 16:24, my love be with you all in Christ Jesus. Amen.